driving to nowhere

i found myself with a spare afternoon and a ford f-150. the park brochure suggested driving out into rocky backcountry roads if time and vehicle allowed, so as i passed the turnout for river road east i impulsively turned onto it.

i stopped and paused for a moment, thinking it through really quick. certainly, the vehicle i had was built for rough roads like this. if something truly went wrong, then i had gallons of potable water, and plenty of food and shelter. everything checked out in my mind, and i started the drive.

what a drive it was! the last time i'd driven through terrain like this was on the f-roads in iceland, and i'd forgotten how much fun it was to navigate the curves and bumps. it was slow going, but the time passed quickly.

the whole time, i had one question in the back of my mind: how isolated could i get? when i reached a fork in the road, i checked my map and saw that one way looped back towards the main park road, and the other went further into isolation. i opted for the latter choice and drove on.

here, the road got truly rough. the rocks became increasingly unfriendly and everything in general got a lot bumpier, and i thought about turning back, but pushed on, figuring that it would probably be okay. eventually, i hit a turnout for an incredibly remote campground called solis. my map said that the turnout ended all the way down by the rio grande. i decided to go check it out.

indeed, the road ended down at the rio grande, in a beautifully verdant area. i got out of the car and took a second to appreciate how truly remote i was. big bend national park was already one of the hardest national parks in the lower 48 to get to, and here i was, way into the backcountry of the park, at a little dead end that probably didn't even get a hundred visitors a year.

i walked down towards the river, when suddenly, hundreds of little golden butterflies that i hadn't seen on the ground flew up and started circling me as if i were in some gay western remake of snow white. i stood there, dumbstruck and in silence. all i could hear was the sound of the rio grande and the slight breeze rustling the reeds. it was sublime, and not a moment that i'll be forgetting any time soon. i had come out here to this god-forsaken corner of the country seeking solitude, and i had been mightily rewarded.

i stayed there for some time. after a while, it occurred to me that i should probably go back and not just melt away into the scenery of west texas, so i reluctantly walked back to my f-150 and drove away.

looping back to the main road, i passed by magnificent canyons and groves of desert plants and mysterious long-abandoned ruins. eventually, i found my way back to pavement, turned onto it, and sped off.